If only...

~Ming's Thoughts~

"If only I knew what to do with my life, then I'd be happy."
Christian spin~~~
"If only I knew what God's calling was on my life, then I'd find complete satisfaction."

When we use statements, or if you're like me you may not say it but you think things like that, the underlying message is that if/when we figure it out the "If only..." we will find meaning, purpose, and satisfaction in it--whatever it may be.

I know, because sometimes I feel this way. Dozens of questions will run through my mind; If only I knew what God was going to do with my life. If only I knew if I was going to get married or be single. If only I knew if He'd called me to be a missionary. If only I knew what I should go to school for. If only I knew this. If only I knew that. If only...and on and on. It's enough to drive a person mad.

AND THEN--it's so obnoxious when I come across those people who have known what they want to do since they were two. [if you've always known what you wanted to do, please know I hold no hard feelings.] The people that couldn't imagine doing or pursuing anything else because they feel called to do it. They're life--or at least their plan for their life has a meaning and a purpose. Then there's indecisive me who just when she thinks she figured her life out--something comes up to ruin that facade.

Right now, I could go and say that you should only find your satisfaction in God and that I shouldn't need to know my calling to be satisfied or have purpose, but I'm not into saying stuff just to say it. So I've been thinking about it...(imagine that.=P) and while thinking about it-- came to the conclusion that although I may not need to know what I'm here for to be satisfied, it's pointless thinking about it; because I already know what I am here for==

I have been called by God to do something, and I have and will continue to find satisfaction in it---but it's not a matter of figuring out the "perfect"career, person, school, ect. No, it's not about that at all.

We do need to know---but we don't have to figure it out, we already know.

We're called to love God with every fiber of our being. And love people in an unexplainable way because we love God. We are called to-- love with an unconditional love, have joy all the time, have peace in the midst of the most trying circumstances, patience when we don't feel like it, kindness in everything we do, goodness in a sin saturated world, faith when all the odds are against us, gentleness, and self-control.

We know this, this is what gives our lives meaning and gives us purpose. So let's be satisfied, stop with the if only's, rest in the fact that we know what we are made for, and then do it.

Psalms 90:14
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

Psalms 145:16
You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
=)

~Ming's Thoughts~

You know when something sits in your head? You sit and you turn in over in your mind, you pull the thought like a thread, hoping at some~ point to come to an end. Well, this is a thought that I've been sitting on for the past week; ok maybe it hasn't been a whole week, but it has been a few days.

I've been thinking about grace, but a specific aspect of grace. I've been thinking about how God gives me grace to deal with anything and everything in my life right now. I have grace for this season, this week, this day, this moment in my life.

This is how my head is applying it right now, in regards to worrying.

Example [this actually isn't the best example but since I don't know who reads this blog—this will have to work.] What if I don't get into the nursing program?

I can't worry about this now, I'm not allowed to. It hasn't happened, I don't have grace for it, because it's nonexistent. It's not a reality in my life [at least right now] so it is pointless to fret about.

See, there's comfort for me in that, I have grace for this season, day, and moment.

I will always have enough grace to deal with whatever comes my way. The thing I listed above may never happen, but if it does happen--God will give me grace to deal with it. In other words I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

No matter what happens in my life, no matter what God does with it, no matter God puts in my life--I will have enough grace.

He stretches me, yes, but never more than I can take.

If God is pruning me in an area, then it means that he wants to see growth. That he will see growth in this area of my life, even if I don't really want it. I mean want to grow, we all do, but what I mean is that I might not want to experience what I need to experience in order to grow. Does that make sense?

The amazing thing about my God is that he has a much bigger ideal than simply what I want. He doesn't limit himself to only using things that I'm comfortable with him using and He doesn't limit himself to taking away the things that I'm ok with him taking.

Oh no.

My God will strip away anything. The things that I cling to the most, the things that I love the most, the things that I define myself by the most. The things that I treasure.

Will it hurt? Yes. I can assure you it will. Giving up things that you love or having them taken away, never would be considered by the world to be a pleasant experience. Yes, God does comfort us and gives us strength. For the sake of being honest though, at least in my life, there are times where it just plain hurts. There are times when I can't see past the bend in the road and where I don't have any idea what God will do with me or my life. There at times where I am scared of the unknown; where I cannot use reason to explain it all away and give it purpose.

God is more interested in building faith than keeping and protecting me in a bubble.

It is in the times that I cannot reason, that faith must step in. (the other alternative is that I go insane, which some could argue has already happened, but that's besides the point.)

I know that sounds cliché, but I don't mean it in a cliché way. I don't mean it as a band-aid answer if you're hurting and you can't see the past this difficult time in you life right now. I'm not saying this because I think it's just the right thing to say so I'm going to just spit it out.

No, I say it because I really truly honestly believe this. I know it's not easy, I know. I know it is a whole lot easier to say than to do, but faith and trust are so worth it.

Verses that I love--

James 1:2-4
2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

1st Peter 1:3-9
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him.

Ephesians 3:14-19
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

[This is kind of a rambling post, I'm sorry about that. If I said anything wrong or something doesn't make sense please let me know. Part of me doesn't even want to post this simply because I'm not exactly sure it's what fits on this sort of blog, I was very tempted to just stick this on my blog so I wouldn't have to worry about it not being the right kind of post. But then I realized that was just pride and fear of man and I needed to get over myself. =P So here it is...]